So I had the first NST today. Last week at my appointment my doc suggested I start coming in every week and get an NST at each appointment. Sign me up!
Non-Stress tests. So ironically named. But you know what? I'd sit in that quiet, dark room for the next 5 weeks, listening to his heartbeat and clicking off every movement in a hot second. Somehow, this stressful procedure calmed me. Because even when he wasn't moving, I knew he was alive. The whooshing of his heartbeat washed my anxiety away, if only for those 30 or so minutes.
And, it was nice and warm and dim, so I nearly fell asleep.
The receptionist keeps asking me if I want to make all my appointments for the rest of my visits. I put her off every time. I still can't bank on it. She asked today if I'll still be pregnant the week after next. I told her I hoped so.
And then there's the amnio and induction in the main tent of my life's circus. We sort of firmed up a date, and I refuse to entertain the possibility that the results with some back negative. Meaning we would have to wait another 2 weeks. Meaning my grip on sanity would come unglued. Can't happen.
But until then, I'm going to keep on keepin on. As best I can.