Thursday, October 7, 2010


OK, I am for reals pissed right now. Remember yesterday's post, when I was all, "ooh, my pets are my FAVORITE?!" Fuck that shit.

I mean.
I love my pets.
I do.

We have this one cat, she's a total bitch. I do not exaggerate or say that out of meanness. She is a jerk. Initially. Until you get on her good side. We got her off the street as a stray when C and I started dating. She hated me and loved C. Eventually she's learned to tolerate me.

My mother in law? Not so much. No one can quite figure out exactly what she has against her, but any time my mother in law comes over this cat freaks the hell out. And my mother in law is awesome! And a cat person!

So she came over today so I could run some errands E-free, and of course this cat starts in with her shit-ass attitude. She swiped at E as she nastily perched on the train table, so I picked her up to put her downstairs.

And then she bit the EVERLOVING SHIT out of my left index finger.

That's not to say my entire left hand and part of my arm aren't scratched up. But she really clamped down on my knuckle. (Damn, that hurt. I cannot overstate this fact.) But I cleaned it, put on a bandaid and went on my way.

Cut to this afternoon and I can't bend my left index finger, it's puffy and red, and hurts like a mofo.

I called my OB, they said since she's a housecat it should be fine, just keep the punctures clean. But then I called my GP and I have to go in and may have to have an ANTIBIOTIC.

As though I have nothing else to worry about right now. Totally not stressful, this is.

As I shake my head, because what else can I do, I wonder, WHAT THE FUCK?


  1. wtf indeed! i hate to admit that i love the way you write & it made me laugh out loud, but i sincerely hope it heals quickly and there are no more incidences with the little feline in the future.

  2. So funny, I mean, not the possible cat scratch fever, but the story itself. I frequently call animals assholes, so I am with you. Well, not all animals, just the squirrels in my backyard who pick my gorgeous tomatoes, take one bite, then throw it on the ground, only to repeat with all the other tomatoes. You already know you hate it. Just an asshole move, if you ask me. Holy crap, your cats. I'm sorry for the unrelated squirrel rant. Sorry for your bitchy cat. I know when I get like that, my husband gives me wine.

  3. After a tetanus shot and an IV of antibiotics, plus 10 more days of antibiotics, I sure as hell could use a glass of wine! I knew it was bad when I took the bandaid off and the dr said, "Oh, that's bad."

    Squirrels are the bane of my dog's existence, and therefore by extension mine, as he can't handle when one's in the yard. The can all go to hell too.

    So glad I'm not alone in calling an animal an asshole--it happens a lot in this house :)

  4. My youngest dog is totally an asshole. I love him, but yeah, he's an asshole. My mother's cat and my sister's cat are also assholes. You can love animals, and still be perfectly justified in calling an asshole an asshole. :o)