Monday, November 8, 2010

The Word of the Day . . .

 . . . is surfactant. Used in a sentence: "Please oh please, Universe, science, god, goddess, God, biology, Buddha, Cher--let there be enough surfactant in this baby's little lungs to get him out tomorrow."

Going in for the amniocentesis at 8:30. I wish it was this second. I am anxious, nervous, READY. Not to mention my crazy dreams all weekend, ramping up for today. Last night's involved getting the news that it was negative. The giant needle does not scare me--it's the possibility of more waiting, pacing, stressing. I am ready for normal newborn worries; I've had enough of the will-he-come-out-alive worries to last a lifetime.

I know the more Zen side of me, the side that agrees with the therapist, could tap into the "it is what it is" mantra that's been on a continuous loop in my brain for the past 10 months. But right now I'm kinda like, "fuck that shit. Get this kid out, alive, por favor."

Oh, and did I mention today is the 10 month ago day when we learned Calla died?

Will keep you updated throughout the day. Keeping fingers crossed for good news this afternoon; feel free to do the same :) Mille grazie.

6 comments:

  1. Keeping my fingers crossed for you and your little one

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  2. My thoughts are with you. I hope today goes flawlessly!

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  3. Thinking of you and your family today and sending good thoughts your way. Racheal

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  4. sending love and many thoughts your way!

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  5. Waiting with you, have been thinking about you and the amnio and the little guy and Calla and E and C and Cos all day.

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  6. Oh shit the end is hard!!! Bringing it all back for me. Angus' birthday is next week and I don't think I am fully recovered from that last week of him inside, nor will I ever be I suppose.
    Hang in there little one! We're all so excited to meet you.
    xo

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