Monday, November 8, 2010

The Word of the Day . . .

 . . . is surfactant. Used in a sentence: "Please oh please, Universe, science, god, goddess, God, biology, Buddha, Cher--let there be enough surfactant in this baby's little lungs to get him out tomorrow."

Going in for the amniocentesis at 8:30. I wish it was this second. I am anxious, nervous, READY. Not to mention my crazy dreams all weekend, ramping up for today. Last night's involved getting the news that it was negative. The giant needle does not scare me--it's the possibility of more waiting, pacing, stressing. I am ready for normal newborn worries; I've had enough of the will-he-come-out-alive worries to last a lifetime.

I know the more Zen side of me, the side that agrees with the therapist, could tap into the "it is what it is" mantra that's been on a continuous loop in my brain for the past 10 months. But right now I'm kinda like, "fuck that shit. Get this kid out, alive, por favor."

Oh, and did I mention today is the 10 month ago day when we learned Calla died?

Will keep you updated throughout the day. Keeping fingers crossed for good news this afternoon; feel free to do the same :) Mille grazie.


  1. Keeping my fingers crossed for you and your little one

  2. My thoughts are with you. I hope today goes flawlessly!

  3. Thinking of you and your family today and sending good thoughts your way. Racheal

  4. sending love and many thoughts your way!

  5. Waiting with you, have been thinking about you and the amnio and the little guy and Calla and E and C and Cos all day.

  6. Oh shit the end is hard!!! Bringing it all back for me. Angus' birthday is next week and I don't think I am fully recovered from that last week of him inside, nor will I ever be I suppose.
    Hang in there little one! We're all so excited to meet you.