Thursday, May 20, 2010
Set In Stone
Her stone is in. The ground. It's there.
We went to see it today, E and I did. C saw it yesterday and told me about how he's badgered them for weeks to get it in the ground.
I think it's quite beautiful. I'm one who makes quick decisions, I don't hem and haw over little details. But for this, I wanted it to be perfect. It's just the way we wanted it. Look, it even has calla lilies on it. Get it? Calla? Calla LILIES? Too bad I envisioned her carrying calla lilies at her wedding, wearing one at the prom, getting them on silly Valentine's Day, getting them from her father and me. Not calla lilies on her cenotaph.
Which, in case you didn't know, is a grave marker where there actually isn't a grave, but ashes buried or scattered underneath. Oh, the things you learn--see, it's not all fun and games! It's learning, too!
It was a gorgeous, sunny, warm spring day today. E had fun running up and down the hill at the cemetery. I took pictures as best I could and tried really hard not to be sad. We only stayed a little bit. She's not really there.
There are other little ones on her hill, too. Young children keeping her company.
It's not how it's supposed to be. No mother should see her child's gravestone.
But here we are. Here are my two children.