I have always hated when people say, "That's not fair!" Because in all reality, life is most certainly NOT fair. Not ever.
Do we sometimes get what we want, need, think we deserve? Of course. If we didn't, life would really suck. In fact, most of us get more of what we'd deem "fair" than many others.
But we also get our "fair share" of shitty things, too. Cancer. Dead dogs, babies, cellphone batteries. Bad hair, bad skin, ugly clothes. Past due notices and broken-down cars and bills up to our eyeballs. Traffic and teams losing and favorite mugs smashed on the floor. Rain on a beach day.
I've been thinking about fairness a lot lately. I could drive myself crazy thinking about how this whole situation is so much less than fair. I know, I know, life isn't fair. I never expected it to be. But this still isn't fair. It's not fair that my son doesn't have his sister, C and I don't have our daughter. It's not fair that I have to walk through my life and smile at all the other babies, be happy for everyone else, pretend like I am a normal person. It's not fair that I look like crap, feel like crap.
And then we get to the ultimate slippery slope: when shitty parents get in my line of sight. I try really, REALLY hard to be non-judgemental and, well, FAIR. And I do not want to be the person who resents other adults for their abundance of familial wealth. But for real, do NOT treat your kids like shit in front of me, because my nasty side will come out. It won't be pretty.
Anyway. It's not fair. You don't need to remind me that life isn't fair. It sure as shit isn't fair that I have one living kid this Mothers' Day and one dead. It isn't fair that I went through labor only to have a dead baby. It isn't fair that my body looks terrible and doesn't fit into anything I want to wear. It's not fair that I have to go through my life with this horrible weight around my neck that threatens to drown me whenever I'm not the most vigilant.
But so be it. Life can really suck. But it can be really good, too.