Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Friends in Low Places

My birthday--and, for those of you keeping score, my due date--has officially come and gone. Without major incident, I might add. Hooray for me. I remember on that awful day one month ago (well, one month and one day) looking at C and saying, "I really don't want my birthday to come this year." He was having none of that.

This past weekend I celebrated my birthday in what would normally be considered high style. I knew I was going out with some friends--sisters-in-law, local friends--and knew we'd be carted around in a limo. Didn't know where, and honestly, didn't care. As much as I'd rather spend all my time in bed, I was also looking forward to being a relatively normal person for one night.

The car, stocked with Prosecco and fun girls, stopped to pick up my bestie, Mo. As she made her way to the car, I noticed she was surrounded by other people--three more of my friends--two of whom do not live in town. One from California, one from Boston--whom I hadn't physically laid eyes on in nearly 4 years--and one who lives here who I rarely get to see.

I was speechless, and , of course, immediately started bawling. But it felt good to cry happy tears for a change. All arranged by C--the coolest! It ended up being a great night, by all accounts. I found out later that C had worked with Mo to get all my girls in town--2 couldn't be here but had so much wanted to. As they say, there's no friend like an old friend. (Wait, does anyone say that? Or did I just make that up?) I wish I had to words to express how much I appreciated just BEING WITH my friends. All I got these days is tears.

So moving on past my birthday, or, I guess, moving backward from it: I received a package on Monday. I wasn't expecting anything, so I was surprised when the UP.S man arrived. What I found inside, again, brought me to tears. A housemate from long ago worked with a "band of angels" to send me a beautiful guardian angel necklace and jewelry tree. I am now wearing that necklace as a talisman, a shield from the daily sadness that eventually creeps its way in.

Growing up, going through life, I always wanted to be included, a part of a group of friends. I have been lucky in friendship. I've made some extraordinary ones along the way. That old saying about keeping friends close and enemies closer? It's crap. Keep your friends in your heart, stay in theirs, too. You might never know why people come in and out of your life, but they're all there for a purpose.

My friends, thank you so, so, so very much for everything. It makes everyday easier to bear knowing you're out there. I am inspired to be a better friend in turn.


  1. It's sounds like you have some really great friends! *hugs* I'm glad you got to feel normal again, if only for a night. :)
    Oooh, and you should post a pic of the necklace! I would love to see it

  2. First let me say to you how sorry I am for your loss. I came across your blog through an adoption blogroll and just had to write you. I lost my daughter 10 years ago and your words, so beautifully put I might add, just echoed all my own feelings back then and even now at times after all these years have gone by. Now that's not to say that your sadness won't get lighter because it will. Time really does help to heal. Your precious little one will never be forgotten and your feelings are valid. Although the missing piece of your family puzzle will never be filled, you have been changed forever. Changed because you are her mother. Changed because you will learn to accept things that are out of our control and you will gain a strength you never imagined was inside of you. I don't mean to rant, just know all too well what you are feeling. Hope you are ok.