Tuesday, September 6, 2011

First of the First Days

Tomorrow is E's first day of preschool. And I, well, I'm mostly okay.

And so it begins, right? I mean, I used to be on the other side of the equation-in my former life as a Kindergarten teacher, I was the one patting the sobbing parents on the hand, shooing the kids into the classroom, telling the teary-eyed moms and dads to JUST LEAVE, and the kids would be just fine and don't worry.

And they all were fine, eventually. But now it's me. I'm sending my big little boy out into the world--albeit twice a week for a few hours to a place filled with other children and adults who care about said little children. He knows our address and my cell phone number and the ABCs and how to count and colors . . .

But it's still the big world, right? School changes kids. We've had a good run, these past three years. Staying home with E, and then grieving at home after Calla, then being home with baby O and big boy E--it's been fun. (OK, the grieving part's not fun. And the immediate aftermath was horrible. But you know what I mean.) September, for a long while, was adios summer and back to routine. Then for three years it was September who? Whatever! And now it's back to business as usual.

And then in a few weeks he's starting dancing school. My mother-in-law has a studio and my sister-in-law will be teaching his class. But STILL. It's something else.

Like I said, I'm mostly okay with all of this. It's time and he's ready and he'll love it. But it's still a little sad to say goodnight to  my little boy, only to take my big boy out into the world, his new world, tomorrow.

What a difference three years makes.


  1. Crazy how they go from tiny fatty, to big little isn't it? I know how you feel. I started Kai in preschool/daycare at 18 months when I returned to work part time (2 days a week). I was a disaster. He was a disaster. We were not happy to be apart and then he got to the point of being very excited and "see ya" but I still got a big hug and kiss upon departure. I think all transitions are hard, even when they are positive. I hope preschool is a blast for E and that your time away from him is spent loving O in a special mama baby way. The best part is seeing them when you pick them up or get home...It's like christmas morning everytime. The smiles are huge and so are the hugs. I miss him when he is gone even though some days it is so good for us both...I still miss him. Good job mama for raising a fabulous ready to move on smarty pants. Cheers to little man and I hope it is a good first day of school for you both. XXOO

  2. Oh no! We did the pre-school thing for the first time last year and it was more poignant than I'd thought it would be. I thought that I could breeze through anything short of a big, final, death-related good-bye but, alas, I was wrong. So, sending strength your way, mama.

    Also, how cute is your big little guy?

    And finally, congrats on surviving your former life as a K teacher. When I taught I only had 2 30 minute science sessions per week with the little ones and it plain wore me out. There is a special place in the afterlife for you and your tribe.

  3. It goes so fast!
    I love that first picture.