Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Merry UnBirthday

So, happy birthday to me. Yep, it's today. It is, also, Baby O's 3 month birthday today. Here he is:
Note the gigantor-ness of this dude. He's quite massive. That outfit is supposed to fit up to 6 months. Har. But clearly, he already loves to do the Cabbage Patch.

Anyway. So, how to phrase this . . . last year my birthday was also Calla's due date.  Last year I was still in the corner, licking my fresh, oozing wounds. I was still in fresh-grief dazedness. I didn't really think about what moving forward would feel like, because I was so firmly rooted in THEN.

But here we are now. And every year my birthday will be tied to my missing little girl. When I realized that her due date was my birthday, I felt bad. Who wants to share their birthday with their MOM? Boo. But I guess I'm thankful, now. I don't have her physical self. But every year, I get to celebrate her, too. My wounds are beginning to scab over; they get nicked and start to bleed every now and then. Eventually they will be a scar, a reminder of rough times in the past.

February 9th will always be our day, little one.


  1. Happy birthday to you... so special that you can share it with your little one in your own way each year xo

  2. Happy birthday. Remembering Calla today and always.

  3. Happy 3 months to baby O...and happy birthday to you. I wish you and Calla could be sharing a cupcake.

  4. Happy belated birthdays, O and you. I share my birthday with Lucy's due date too. I can't help but feel the pangs too, even though it was my birthday first. xo